


First Love

by ruf1n4



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Death, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Love Story, Sex, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets, Slow To Update, Smut, Stuttering Reader, Titans, Underground Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Underground Reader, Violence, sad youth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruf1n4/pseuds/ruf1n4
Summary: **This story follows the events from Levi’s youth, spoilers of the OVA No Regrets, and keeps going with the original storyline of Attack On Titan, it will be focused on Reader and her relationship with the characters, mostly Levi**Truth was, if it weren’t for Levi, you would’ve died when you were just a little girl. Living in the underground wasn’t easy, you couldn’t trust anyone, then why did he save you? You didn’t have an answer to that, but you knew that he was your first love and main reason to keep living.**This story will be updated slowly and I plan on writing till season 3, it will take some time and a lot of chapter so please be patient with me lmao**
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Please be advised that this chapter contains: strong language, smut (I tried to describe it as well as I could), the reader will stutter because of her lack of education and bad health (I don’t know if it could trigger anyone, but I decided to clarify just in case).
> 
> All chapters will be at least 5k long, this chapter is 8k words long so I’m sorry if it’s a little boring but it’s just the introduction.

# First Love

## Chapter 1

### The Beginning

"What the fuck are you doing here?" A small boy asked you as you raised your head to look at him, the darkness around you made it difficult to see him clearly, but you guessed he was around your age. "The military police will be here in a few minutes." He said again.

You gulped, the only things you could do. Being only 8 and without any kind of knowledge, you had a hard time speaking on your own. "Sorry." Was the only sound that came out of your shaking lips as you hugged your cold knees against your chest. 

Levi tilted his head, he was about 11 but he already knew how things worked in the underground. "Get up, you idiot." He grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, he was almost surprised by your lightweight, but what could he expect from a kid that was homeless in that place. "Come." 

You followed him, unsure of why he had stopped to talk to you in the first place. You had met a few good people during your short life, sometimes they would pity you and decide to throw some bread at you, other times you would need to beg with your soft small voice to get something to eat. "Where... you... house?" You stopped after each word to take deep breaths, your small lungs not being used to consuming so much air. 

Levi frowned. "Are you retarded?" He asked and you looked down at your bare, dirty feet. You couldn't speak, but you could comprehend perfectly. "I live in a small place, there's a place for another brat like you." He explained, once you had arrived in front of an abandoned house, he used his knife to force the lock and opened the door. "Hurry, I don't want to get caught because of you."

So there you were, it was an abandoned apartment that had been forgotten long ago. The boy lighted up some candles and told you to follow him, the place was cold but not like the outside, it wasn't even that dirty compared to all the time you had spent sleeping on the ground. "Nice." You muttered under your breath.

"Don't get too comfortable." Levi glared at you and you lowered again your head afraid to meet his intimidating look, you had learned that keeping your head down was the best way to make sure people didn't look at you nor pay any attention to you. "Go clean yourself, then I'll feed you."

You widened your eyes, feeling tears threatening to roll down. "Thank you." You fell on your knees and leaned your forehead against the wood of the floor. "Thank you."

Levi looked at you unimpressed, he knew how it felt to be hopeless and absolutely lost, he had seen the look on your face a few days ago when you were petting a stray dog on the street. You had a pure heart, he could tell, but he didn't really know what to do with you. "Just go already." He folded his arms and you got up still shaking.

You managed to clean yourself in the small improvised bathroom and then put on some of Levi's clothes since he didn't have anything else more feminine, not that you minded as long as you could cover your gracile, skinny and fragile body. "Why you... why you kind?" You tried to ask him once you were both sat on the ground in the small living room.

He shrugged, his bored expression never falling from his eyes. "I don't know, I just thought you needed help." He answered with honesty. "Where are your parents?" He dared to ask, but he already knew the answer, either they were dead or they abandoned you.

You blinked innocently. "Mom go bye, up there." You pointed at the ceiling, meaning that she had been able to move to the up world. "Don't know dad." 

He nodded, he had figured. He grabbed his small bag and took a loaf of bread, he had stolen it earlier before meeting you in the center of the city. "Here, eat." He divided it in two and gave one half to you.

Your fingers closed around the hard bread, suddenly your stomach demanded to be fed and you could no longer wait. You ate it with just a few bites and didn't even complain about how hard it was to chew. "Thank you." You offered him your small, yet graceful hand. "Me, Y/n."

"I'm Levi." He introduced himself. "Why do you speak so funny? Has no one ever taught you how to properly talk?" You shook your head and he hummed finishing his dinner. "Do you know how to use a knife?" Again, another negative nod of your head. "How do you provide for yourself then?"

You shrugged. "I stay, I wait." You explained hugging your knees. "You?"

"I take what I need when I need it." He hissed laying down on the ground, arms folded behind his head as he looked at the ceiling. Why did he bring you there in the first place? He just felt like it, he had a good feeling about you. "You're welcome to stay here until you'll be able to be on your own."

Your lips curved in a small smile, you had felt as if you hadn't smiled in years, your cold hand grabbed his own and he snapped his head towards you, surprised by your happy expression. "Friend."

He rolled his eyes. "No." But deep down he knew you were the closest thing he had ever had to a friend, and you had known each other for a few hours. "There's only a bed, it's either that or the ground." He changed the subject.

"Share?" You asked and he nodded. "Good." 

He got up and offered you his hand, his soft skin brushed against your ruined one, you got on your feet and followed him in the small bedroom. "First thing tomorrow, I'll teach you how to speak, you sound too stupid." You only nodded, you couldn't disagree with him because it was true.

When your tired body felt the mattress your lips parted to let out a sigh of satisfaction, you had never felt such a comfortable material to lay on, it felt as if you were on a cloud. "Night night." 

"Shut up." 

**

A few months had passed since that day, things were going much better for the two of you. "Levi!" You rubbed towards him and he raise his eyebrows at how tired you looked, your breath was panting and your knees were shaking from the struggles. "Look." You put your hands inside your shirt, that was one of Levi's, and took out two red apples.

"Where'd you get those?" He widened his eyes taking them from you, he looked at them cautiously. They weren't ruined, on the contrary, in perfect condition. "These come from the up world."

"I know, some merchants- they- they were-" you struggled to finish the sentence, but he had to admit that you got very better than the first time he had heard you talking. "They were talking." You said firmly trying to get a grip of yourself. "I stole them, they weren't watching."

Levi nodded and looked around to make sure that no one had heard a thing. "Good, let's go home." He grabbed your hand and started to walk towards your little apartment. 

After six months of training, Levi decided that you couldn't fight for shit, instead you were very quick and agile, your touch was soft and most of the times imperceptible, you were very tiny and easy to hide and get into small spaces. That was your strength and he taught you how to use it at your advantage.

Also, your pretty face was perfect to charme people enough to let them trust you to get close enough to steal from them, it was as if you were born to play the role. 

"Levi." You called once you were sitting in the living room, you had managed to find a broken couch in a dark alley and managed to bring it into you house so you could sit on it instead of the ground. The boy hummed while using his knife to cut the fruit. "Why can't we go in the up world?"

He stopped his movements, sometimes your innocence made him angry, but not with you, with the rest of the world. A pure girl like you wasn't meant for the underground, with your bright eyes always looking forward to learn something, the small smile you made every time Levi did something for you or corrected your talking, even your long hair made him groan in disappointment with the people that left you alone. "We're rats, the lowest part of the society." 

You tilted your head curiously. "Will we ever be able to see- to see-" you stopped thinking about the right word to use. "The sun?" You blinked unsure.

"Maybe." He shrugged and handed you a slice of apple. "If we can save some money, we'll be able to buy ourselves some time up there." 

You bit the sweet fruit and widened your eyes in appreciation. "It's so- mhm- sweet!" You exclaimed, Levi frowned as he kept slicing the apple, you got on your knees so you could be at his same height and pushed the rest of your piece of fruit into his mouth. "Eat!" You let out a giggle when you noticed his annoyed look.

You had noticed that he always had that glare, a serious expression that he rarely changed. But didn't affect you because you had seen the good in his heart, you knew he was a good person and whenever you got to see his smile... it was always cheering you up. "Did you wash your hands, brat?" He asked after he had eaten the piece you gave him.

"Yes, I wash- it- no them." You hated it when you struggled to speak even the easiest words, you didn't want to look weak in Levi's eyes. But he liked it, it was cute and it suited you. 

"Thank you." He muttered after the two of you ate both apples. "If it wasn't for you, we would've eaten some shit bread again." You smiled shyly. "We should start getting more money."

You had never understood money's value, but if that was needed to get yourself more food then you wanted it too. You sighed and leaned your head on his shoulder. "I'll steal more."

His smiled curved into a smirk as he petted your head. "Good girl." He praised you, for your age, you were pretty clever and understood the situation you were in. Suddenly, you heard someone trying to open the door and you both got up from the couch with a small jump. "Stay here." He grabbed his knife and slowly approached the door that was moving.

"I'm scared." You muttered hiding yourself behind him, he clenched his jaw. If someone had found out about your secret place, then you were fucked. Levi knew he was able to take down a grown man if he wanted to, but if there were more soldiers he could only hope that you could run fast enough to avoid to be caught. "Levi..." your voice was shaking as you pointed at the moving handle.

"Tch." He groaned and raised the knife ready to kill whoever was going to step in, but everything stopped when a tall figure made his way into the apartment. "Oh fuck me." Levi put back his knife in his belt. 

"Oi brat, you're still alive." Kenny chuckled closing the door and adjusting his hat. "I see you've rearranged the place." The man's eyes then stopped on your still shaking figure. "Mhm, and who is this?"

You leaned against Levi's back trying to hide, your hands grabbed at his arm with fear. "Not your damn business." The kid answered at your place. "What are you doing here?"

"Is that how you treat a friend?" Kenny asked shaking his head, instead of explaining you who that man was, Levi pushed you back into the living room with him. "Oh I see, you're mad. Well, you still need me to stay alive." He took a bag from under his coat and dumped it on the table. 

You blinked confused and moved away from Levi to go take a peek of the inside of the bag, you little hands opened it and your eyes widened. "This is b-bread and- and some food." You gasped finding some canned food. 

Kenny smirked. "Aw, the brat got a soft spot for a freak stuttering kid." He grinned and Levi frowned angrily. 

"She's not a freak." He replied clenching his hands in two fists, if Kenny was important for their life, he would've made sure that he was going to pay for what he had just said. "I'm Kenny." He offered you his hand instead with a mischievous smile.

You looked at him, he somehow reminded you of your friend, maybe it was his eyes or the way he dressed. You shook his hand. "Y/n." You smiled. 

He leaned towards you and looked at your eyes. "And how did a small little girl like you end up with this rat here?" 

Your jaw dropped at his words, not liking how he had defined your friend. "He's not- not- not a rat." You stuttered angrily, your eyebrows narrowing and Levi seemed surprised by your sudden burst. "Levi is my friend."

"Sure he is." Kenny got up again and looked at the black haired kid. "Are you going to keep her? You know I can't provide for both of you." He didn't really care about them, he was no father and didn't owe anyone. 

"We'll manage." Levi slid his hands in his pockets. "We don't need anything from you." 

The man raised an eyebrow and looked at you again. "Are those your clothes?" He pointed at what you were wearing and you blushed, when you had met Levi you were wearing a small dress that was way too dirty and ripped to be worn again. "A lady shouldn't be wearing something like that."

You looked down at your feet, now covered with a pair of shoes that were way too big for you, but they were the only thing that could protect you from getting hurt. "I'll find some clothes for her." Levi snapped again, the man and him kept glaring in each other's eyes, it was a challenge, whoever looked away before was the weak one.

After a few second Kenny sighed and turned. "Oh well, you do you. I don't give a shit." He walked towards the door. "I've done my part. Don't die too quickly!" He waved and finally got out closing the door.

You stared at Levi's frozen body, he was still clenching his jaw showing how much angry he was and you felt bad. With slow movements, you approached him and grabbed his hand, his head snapped towards you, his grey piercing eyes showing all his desperation. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." He snorted and pulled away from you, he approached the table and started to go through the stuff the man ha brought him. "At least we won't starve for a few weeks." He muttered closing the bag, not wanting the food to rot in any way. 

You nodded and sat on the couch, he joined you moments later. You were both silent, the tension was tangible, the night had been ruined and you weren't even sure why. "Is he your dad?" You whispered, scared to upset him again.

Levi had never raised his voice at you, nor had he ever been mean towards you. But sometimes you admitted to be scared of his reaction after you saw him cutting a man to death after he had tried to kick him. "I don't know." His answer was sincere, his head rested against yours and you surrounded his shoulders with your arms trying to comfort him. "He showed me how to survive here, he comes once in a while just to make sure I'm not dead."

You pouted and cuddled up against him. "He's ugly anyway." 

"He's a piece of shit." Levi let out a small sigh. "We'll be fine by ourselves."

You bit your lip, it wasn't like you had any other choice anyway. "We will."

**

Years had passed, you and Levi had made your way up into the underground society. He was known as one of the most dangerous people, no one would even dare messing with him knowing the strength of the short man.

You, on the other hand, were known to be his best friend and one of the most incredible thieves of all the city. Words were spread about the two of you, some of them calling the two of you lovers, others thought you were siblings, but the important thing was that everyone knew not to mess with you or else they were going to regret it.

Growing up, you had changed. 

Levi wasn't exactly the tall type, he was rather short for his age, at 17 someone would think he would reach 5'6 at least, but because of the underground living styles his growth had been rather slow. That didn't stop him from becoming fit and masculine, his expression became even more serious and intimidating.

You were even shorter than him, though you were younger but also you had had more problems growing up because of the long time you had spent without enough food and sunlight. But your face was one of the prettiest of all the city, a lot of men had tried to flirt with you, even if you were only 14, almost 15.

Levi had to admit that he had started to see you differently himself, maybe it was the fact that you had started to dress more femininely, or the way your body started to evolve into beautiful curves, gentle eyes and beautiful smile. 

That's why he had to protect you, at all costs. No one was worthy of your attention, your word or even your look, he had to made sure that you were happy and healthy all the time.

Then you met Farlan, a boy that was the same age as Levi, and you all created a dynamic trio. The plan to survive was easy: each of you had their part to steal as much as you could. With the money, you would try and help the others and spend the rest on the necessities.

Kenny never showed up ever again after Levi became 12, his memory was forgotten in the back of your mind and you had never asked about him since you knew that Levi was terribly uncomfortable talking about him.

However, you managed to get a new house, you made sure that it was perfect for the three of you. You finally had your own bed, even if sometimes you snuck in Levi's room to sleep with him, just an old custom you hadn't got rid of, but he was fine with it. He didn't mind hugging you in your sleep and make sure everything was fine.

Farlan had often questioned the two of you singularly about your weird relationship, but the answers were always different and embarrassed.

"What? No way! Levi and I grew up together, that's why we're so close." You would giggle and wave your hand in the air to dismiss the idea of a potential love interest.

Levi would just glare at him. "Why would you care?" He would snap against the boy that would quickly tell him that he was just curious. "I don't need to give an explanation to you or any fucker out there."

So it was never said out loud, but everybody knew Levi cared about you more than anything. 

After you had managed to steal some 3D moving gears, living had become way easier. Money had not been much of a problem and your friends were able to to pay for food, medications and better clothes. 

"This is the best dress I've ever seen!" You exclaimed doing a pirouette, Levi had come home with Farlan after they went grocery shopping and the black haired boy had a surprise for you: a pink dress, just the way you had always dreamed of. "Where'd you find it? It's perfect!" You cheered noticing how it sit perfectly on your body.

Levi only shrugged, if there was something he didn't like, it was to express emotions in front of other people other than you. "We paid a woman that made it, got the material from one of those merchants." Farlan answered with a bright smile.

"I love it! I love it!" You jumped around the living room and they looked at you amused. "Thank you!" You hugged Farlan and left a kiss on his cheek. "And thank you!" You kissed Levi's cheek as well.

"Tch, I hope you won't get it dirty before you get to wear it in public." The boy said sitting on a chair at the table, he grabbed his knife and started to clean it with his handkerchief.

You pouted. "I won't!" You argued, but you knew he meant it sarcastically. "If I went out wearing this, people would think that I'm a girl from the up world." You muttered dreamily and started to move around just to feel the skirt spinning with your legs. 

Levi gulped, the sight being way too beautiful to be true. It was weird because when he looked at you, he could still see that little girl that was just bones and skin, how could he have imagined that you would've turned out to be the most beautiful thing he had ever lied his eyes on. "Not with those shoes." He commented trying to tease you.

Your cheeks turned red as you looked down at your feet, the shoes you were wearing weren't the best with that dress, they were rather old and consumed but you couldn't afford any better. "S-shut it!" You exclaimed pissed and he smirked a little.

It was always fun to upset you, with years of practice you were finally able to speak properly, but your stuttering could come back when you were nervous, angry or even too happy. He liked that, he he would've never told you. "Once we'll be able to move in the up world, we'll make sure to buy you new shoes." Farlan said leaning against the couch.

Your eyes widened with happiness. "Can't wait! If we keep saving, we'll be able to escape this terrible place and have a normal life." You clapped your hands and then stormed into your room to get changed, not wanting to ruin the new precious item.

Levi sighed. "You should stop reminding her about it." He said placing his knife on the table.

His friend frowned. "Why? Don't you think we'll be able to move out of here?" He asked, after all that was their main goal. 

"I want to think we'll succeed, but Y/n is just a kid. I don't want to give her false hope and see her sad in case we'll never be able to do so." He explained raising his head and looking at the white ceiling. "It will take a lot of time."

"Of course." Farlan agreed, feeling bad for the thing he had just said, he could see Levi's point. Y/n was like their younger sister, they wanted to protect her at all costs, sometimes even from the truth.

You sighed silently leaning against the wall, you had heard everything. You knew it would take more time than you'd like to admit, you had your own dreams and the idea of giving them up was painful, but you weren't a child anymore and the last thing you wanted was to see the two boys worry about you like that.

A forced smile appeared on your face as you went back into the room wearing a pair of pants and a shirt. "Time for dinner!"

**

It definitely took more time than expected, your hopes were getting lower by the day you woke up in the underground city. You needed, you wanted, to see the sunlight and feel it against your pale clear skin, you could just imagine how warm and nice that sensation was.

Instead you were forced to keep working and working, trying to keep your mood cheerful around the others because everyone else had already given up. Your group got a new member an ear earlier, Isabel, a girl that was your age with red hair and happy eyes, had become part of your family after she had knocked at your door looking for help.

Your first female friend, it felt like a present from heaven. You decided to share your room with her, and quickly became best friends as you were finally able to talk about girl stuff that the others would never get in the first place, like ways to braid your hair since it had gotten way too long, but you always refused to cut it. 

More precisely, she was the only one you could talk to about your deepest secrets, like your feelings for you oldest and grumpy friend, she wasn't surprised about it and claimed that it was pretty obvious, it was weird the only Levi hadn't noticed at that point. She confessed that you were the only family she had ever had and that looked up at you just like her own sister.

You turned 18, even if you faked a smile every time your friends wished you a good birthday, inside of you it felt as if you wanted to scream and shout. Your plan was to go in the up world once you had turned an adult, but it was ruined and you weren't even sure if you still had hope about it.

Levi had noticed and he tried his best to help you, you had spent many nights hugging him while he silently brushed your long hair with his soft fingers. I love you, that what you wanted to tell him every time, but instead you looked at him dreaming about the day you would marry him. But it was just your imagination, you knew he was no loving man, not interested in women whatsoever.

And it was true, Levi had had some experience in his 21 years of life, but he never got interested in any woman if not to look for some sex. If someone asked, he would say that love was stupid and he didn't need that, but truth was he was just waiting for the right one: you. 

But nothing ever happened.

The four of you kept stealing using the ODM gear, you were well known for how you had been able to fool the military police and help the others. 

That was until, one day, a strange man offered a job. At first Levi refused, being the older and more experienced you gave him all your trust and followed his leadership, however he had to rethink about it once the man told him that he had paid for a doctor to heal one of your friend's leg that had been hurting because of the missing sunlight.

"Are you sure?" You whispered while you were walking behind the stranger, he looked way too elegant to be from down there, that was clear as air. "We can't trust-"

"I know." Levi snapped, his mind was already thinking about ways to escape in case it was all just a trick and feeling your fear wasn't helping him in any way. Before you could reply, he grabbed your hand, he always did that to make sure you were by his side so he could protect you. "Let's just hear them out."

"Maybe they'll help us." Isabelle whispered next to you. "Or else, why would they bring us up here?"

Farlan sighed. "Let's not jump to conclusions." You nodded in agreement and squeezed Levi's hand to signal him that he needed to be calm. 

After a while, you had arrived at the hidden stairs that brought the four of you almost to the up world, right there you could see a carriage that was red and golden. There was a symbol on it but you didn't know it, you had never seen it before and knew nothing about the up world society. 

The man in the carriage started to talk explaining how this job would be important for the four of you, but it felt strange and scary. Levi scoffed at the idea to work for a royal piece of shit, but then the unexpected happened.

"If you will do it, either way you'll earn a citizenship." The man said and you widened your eyes in surprise, looking at the others, they had the same expression. "Think about it carefully."

Once you were back at home, the air got tensed as everyone was lost in their thoughts and ideas of what they should do. "So..." You started sitting at the table, you had cooked come soup, it wasn't the best but it wasn't the worse. "What are your opinions about this?" You asked after everyone started to eats silently.

Isabelle smiled. "I think it could be a good idea if we take the job, we've worked so hard to go up there, this is a one life chance." She said excitedly and you nodded agreeing, knowing damn well you had the same thoughts. 

Farlan shrugged. "I don't know, sounds fishy, but I trust Levi to make the right choice." He muttered and your eyes met the black haired man ones. 

"Tch." He snorted putting down the spoon. "I can't ignore it if it will bring us all a citizenship, but I won't do a damn thing if it turns out to be fake." He explained leaning against the chair, his piercing grey eyes glaring at the food. "We need to be cautious."

You all nodded in agreement and decided to change subject, it broke your heart to see how you guys had lost hope and couldn't believe at what was happening. 

Later that night, you couldn't sleep. Isabelle had chitchatted with you for a while, talking about how she would love to adopt as many animals as she could once you were going to live in the up world. But after a while, she fell asleep and you were left alone with your thoughts, what if the job was just a trick? What if something went wrong? 

You felt sick at the idea. 

You slowly got up from bed, checking that your friend was still asleep, and by the sound of her snores you could tell she had passed out. So you tiptoed and reached Levi's room, you got in silently and approached his bed before lying under his blanket. After a few seconds Levi's arms wrapped around you and brought you close to his chest. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Not at all." You whispered cuddling up against him. "Thought you never sleep, so I'd might as well keep you company." You smiled turning to face him, his expression softened once he saw your tender face.

"So you wanted to annoy me?" He asked and you nodded amused, he rolled his eyes but hugged you tighter anyway. "You're nervous for tomorrow." 

"I just don't know what to expect, if we were to go up there... I don't know, it has been a dream of mine for so long." You sighed playing with the hem of his white shirt. "What will we do?"

He brushed your long hair with his fingers. "What do you want to do?"

You shrugged. "I don't know? Buy a house and move there? Have some good food and more dresses, I also want to have a real job and be able to rest under the sun." You giggled thinking about it, you bet that people up there were absolutely living their best life.

He stared at your hopeful eyes. "And once you'll be older?"

You frowned. "What do you mean? We'll live together in our house." You muttered.

He hummed. "So you want to stay with us?"

"You are all my family." You said raising your head to look in his eyes. "Wait, don't you think we'll stay together after we go in the up world?" Your voice was shaky, you had never thought about it that way, being separated from them was not something you were looking forward to.

Levi sighed, he didn't want to upset you nor scare you, but he wanted you to face reality. "I don't know, it could happen. Maybe Farlan will find a job as a merchant, Isabelle will start a farm or something with all her animals, and us..."

You shook your head. "You're not going to leave me, are you?" You asked desperately, if you had to lose Farlan and Isabelle, then be it, but you couldn't let Levi leave. 

"I won't." He reassured you, the last thing he wanted was to leave you, you were too precious, too important to him. "And I don't think you would too, brat."

"What is that supposed to mean?" 

"That you would be lost without me, obviously." He bragged and you slapped his arm playfully. "What? You don't agree?"

"S-shut u-up!" You exclaimed hiding your face in his chest. "I want to have a job and make clothes, mostly dresses." You muttered and Levi frowned surprised, you had never told him about your dreams if not the fact that you wanted to live in a big ass home. "Remember that time when I helped Mrs Johnson to make her wedding dress a few years ago?"

"Yeah, she paid you enough to buy some fruits for everyone, you saved us from starving that month." He could remember how hard you had worked on that dress, you were usually sewing their clothes whenever they needed to be repaired or got too small, but he never thought you wanted to do the same as a job.

"Yeah, but that dress turned out beautiful, even if it was very poorish, Mrs Johnson showed me a few pictures she had found in a few books, the dresses were stunning." You told him with a big smile. "Since that day, I dream to have a house, and to wear a white dress at my future wedding." You whispered and then sighed. "If I'll ever get married, I highly doubt anyone would want a girl from the underworld."

Levi stopped, he had never imagined this as your dream, he had never thought about marriage in general. Living down there, his priority was to stay alive and protect his friend, everything else wasn't important... but thinking about it, his dream was probably to have a normal life as well and to have you by his side always. His hand reached your chin, his fingers forcing you to look straight at him. "I'll marry you."

You frowned, your jaw almost dropped at his unexpected words. "What?!" You almost yelled and shushed you not wanting the others to wake up and hear what he was saying. "Are you joking? Are you drunk?" You said touching his face to see if he was feeling fine.

"I'm not, I'm being serious." He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. "Once we'll be able to get a good house, I'll marry you and you'll be able to put on that fucking dress of yours." He said out loud while you kept staring at him hoping that he was being serious about that.

You blinked still confused, but decided to go along with it because it was your dream, you wanted it so bad. "I'll make a suit for you too." You mumbled happily.

Levi smiled softly. "Is that a yes?" 

"Yes." You sighed. "If you're playing around I'll beat you." You joked showing your fists and he chuckled amused, next thing you knew, he grabbed your wrists and pinned you down on the mate was as he got on top of you. "What are you doing?" You whispered blushing. 

"Just a second ago you were ready to fight, what happened now?" He raised his eyebrows lowering his head so that your noses were just a few inches away. He liked having your in that position, you were just beautiful and perfect, if he could, he would've taken you right there.

But he couldn't, he wasn't even sure you knew what sex was in general, because you both grew up in the underworld, learning wasn't exactly that easy. Levi knew everything, he had experience on his own, mostly because of Kenny that explained it to him, but you... Levi had never even thought about telling you how children were made and he wasn't going to take advantage of you like that. 

You were staring at his eyes, waiting for his next move. When you noticed how unsure he was, you frowned. It wasn't like you could use your hands since they were both blocked by his own, but that's when you decided to raise your head and connect your lips to his ones.

You had never kissed someone, that was your very first time, and since you didn't even know how that worked, you ended up just keeping your lips on his mouth for a few second before leaning back on the mattress, your cheeks were flaming red and your stomach was aching with excitement because of what you just did.

Levi was pleasantly surprised by your action and decided that kissing wasn't bad, you clearly knew what it was. So he lowered his body again and smashed his lips onto yours, this time he took the lead and started to move his mouth in small kisses. The only thing audible was the sound it made when your lips separated before reconnecting again.

Suddenly, you felt his tongue against your lower lip, brushing and teasing it to ask for access. It was definitely knew, a feeling like that had been unknown to you for so long, but it was a pleasure you couldn't resist to.

You opened your mouth and Levi took that occasion to introduce his tongue in it, you whimpered a little when you felt his tongue brushing against yours, making sure to explore every detail of it.

But that wasn't the real problem, as you went on kissing, you could feel a growing need in between your thighs. It was painfully clear what you wanted, needed, to satisfy your desire, but you didn't know if Levi would do such thing.

Once you stopped, pulling away from each other to breathe, you gulped not knowing how to ask him to help you. The next thing almost shocked Levi, you parted your legs and folded them behind his back surrounded his waist with them, your lower part slightly feeling something hard against you. "Y/n." Levi let go of your hands freeing you from his gripe and sighed. "You don't know what you're doing."

You frowned getting up on your elbows. "What do you mean?" 

He shook his head. "I know you may feel like you need something, but you don't know what you're getting yourself into." He placed his hands on your thighs trying to get them down.

"But I know." You whispered and he stopped all his movements, his head snapped towards you with surprise. "What?"

He frowned. "How do you know about sex?" He asked and your body froze. He had never told you, he was sure about that, so who did? "Was it Isabelle? Or Farlan?" He knew you and the girl were very close, but he would get rather angry if he knew that the boy had explained it to you without asking him first.

"No." You sighed and he got down on you again, wanting to know more. "W-when I-I, mhm, helped M-Mrs Johnson..." you started, the stuttering was evident in your voice meaning you were anxious to tell him. "S-she told me w-what happens to get p-pregnant." 

"Why would that fucking-"

"She was pregnant." You said suddenly and he stopped. "W-when we m-made the dress, s-she told me to m-make it a little bigger because she was p-pregnant a-and I a-asked her how it happens." You explained embarrassed. You were only 13 at that time, Mrs Johnson was to get married and after seeing how you could sew your friend's clothes, she had kindly asked you to help her making her wedding dress. That woman had been the closest thing you had had to a mother, even if only for those few weeks you had worked with her. She had told you that the main reason why she was getting married was because she was pregnant and, as a curious girl yourself, you asked how a woman could get pregnant.

Levi sighed. "So she told you everything?" 

You shrugged. "She gave me an initial idea, then I did some research." You mumbled looking down at your stomach covered by your pajamas. "I-I k-know how it's supposed to w-work." You said again.

He nodded analyzing the situation. So, you weren't that innocent after all, he should've guessed, he couldn't keep you from everything. "Have you ever tried?" He asked then, the idea of you not being a virgin made his blood boil, not because he didn't want you to have experience, but because he wanted to be the man that could give you pleasure and take care of you.

You shook your head. "Not with someone else." You whispered and his eyes slightly widened at that new information. "Why are you looking at me like that?" 

His nose was touching yours once again. "Have you tried pleasuring yourself?" He whispered softly and you felt your whole face burning again. That was your little dirty secret, only Isabelle knew about that and you didn't know if the others were supposed to know what you did once you were alone to help yourself. 

"Yes." You answered and cleared your throat. "Is-is it ok?"

"What you do with your body is fine as long as you want it." He grabbed your hand and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. The idea of you doing something like that excited him more than he would've imagined, he wanted to feel you as well. "Can you show me?" He whispered leaning to leave a soft kiss on your lips.

"You want to see how-" 

"Yes." He took a deep breath and then placed his hand on yours. "Show me, move my hand as if it was yours." He told you, that was definitely something you would've never thought about.

It sounded exciting, arousing to say the least, you and Levi had never been so intimate and it made your heart beat faster than the usual. With shaky fingers, you grabbed his hand and placed it on your breast. "I usually start like this." You say and he nodded, his palm rubbed against your covered boob and you held a breath. 

Then you slowly moved it down to your flat stomach, Levi stared at every movement trying to note what you liked and made you feel good, his chest moved heavily once he reached your heated core. 

You closed your eyes, the fact that you were wearing a night dressing gown was helping and making you feel anxious. With a careful move, you raised the skirt of the gown revealing your short skinny legs, his eyes were burning against your skin as his hand finally touched your most intimate part.

His hand was callosal, different from your thin soft fingers, his touched was way better than you could've imagine. Levi decided to take initiative and started to rub his thumb against your entrance, even if it was still covered by your panties, you could already feel a feeling of pleasure taking over you.

You bit your lip trying not to make sounds once he started to work on your clitoris, he was better than you at that, moving his fingers just as you needed him to do. He did not hesitate to move your panties aside and feel your wetness all over his fingers. "You're so wet already." He muttered raising his eyes to look at your face. "For how much did you want this, huh?" He slightly slapped your center and your shut your eyes closed trying your best to shut up.

After a while, he inserted one finger in you, your hand flew to your mouth covering it in a desperate attempt to hide your moans. Levi wanted to hear you more than everything, to know just how good was he making you feel, but he knew that it wasn't possible, not if he wanted not to be caught. 

Moving forwards, he pushed away the hand from your mouth and replaced it with his one, lips rougher and needed more than before, your hands tugged at his black hair pulling him closer to you.

Once he felt your entrance getting even wetter, he slid another finger, you couldn't hold back anymore as you arched your back and widened your mouth in surprise and pleasure. "Just like that." Levi whispered trying to muffle your moans, the way your eyes were rolling back was the best view he had ever seen. "Bet you've never felt this good." He whispered against your ear.

You shook slightly your head, feeling tired and sweaty. "No, never." You answered surrounding his neck with your arms to have more sustainability. "I-I need more." You whined pressing your forehead against his. 

Levi sighed, his hand moving from your pussy making you snort in disappointment, he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked the wetness that was still on them, you watched him curiously wondering why he was doing that. "You're sweeter than I thought." He groaned and kissed you letting you feel your own taste from his lips. "But I don't think we should go any further."

"Why?" You whispered needing to reach your climax.

"Because..." he stopped, he thought you were scared or nervous since it was your very first time, but your eyes told him a different story. "Are you sure you want me to go on?" He asked worried.

You nodded your head with a small smile. "I need you, please Levi." You begged moving your hips against his to get any kind of contact that could ease the growing need. 

Maybe it was the fact that you were afraid to lose him the next day because of your said "job", or maybe it was just the excitement of the moment, either way you were ready to give him all of you. 

Getting up from you, Levi took off his shirt exposing his muscular chest and prominent abs, you'd already seen him half naked in many occasions, growing up together didn't leave much to the imagination. Then he placed his hand on his pants and carefully took them off, you kept your eyes glued to his face not daring to look down as you felt embarrassed. 

He leaned towards you and kissed your forehead trying to calm you down. "You can say no, I'll stop whenever you feel like it's too much." He said caressing your cheek.

"I really want it." You frowned, with a sudden wave of self confidence, you got on your knees and slowly undressed leaving your body completely naked if not for your panties. Levi's eyes widened at the sight of your breast since he had never really paid attention to it to see just how much you had grown up. "What?" You gulped insecure.

He shook his head and had you lay down. "You're just perfect." He kissed your lips, his hands quickly wandering your chest, squeezing and pinching your nipples sending shivers down your spine. He then moved down kissing your throat, your skin was so soft and smelled so good he couldn't help it but love it. 

His mouth stopped in between your boobs and sucked a small piece of skin right there, a mince he was done, he got up and looked at the big bruise he had left. He moved towards his bedside table and took a small envelope, you didn't ask because you were worried you would ruin the mood, but kept looking as he got rid of his boxers freeing his erection.

You gulped at the sight, so that thing had to go... in you? How? It was way too big for you. Levi pumped himself a few times before opening the envelope and putting the condom on his length. "Are you definitely sure?" 

"Levi, if anything will trouble me I'll tell you." You promised and he nodded placing himself between your legs, you sucked in a breath feeling the tip of his erection against your entrance. "Will it hurt?" You muttered as he lowered his head so that your faces could be inches away.

"I don't know, I'll try my best to go slow." He reassured you, his hand grabbed yours as he started to thrust into you. You shut your eyes closed at the weird feeling, it was very different from anything you had ever experienced, but the wetness helped him to get inside without hurting you. "Are you ok?" 

You sighed shakily, squeezing his hand. "Yes, please keep moving." You murmured and he nodded, he had to contain himself not to move too fast. He slowly got out and then back in, the movement giving you an amazing sensation. After a few thrusts you started to feel a strong feeling of pleasure taking over you as you moaned uncontrollably.

Levi tried to muffle your sounds kissing you, his tongue making its way into your mouth. Your bodies were sweaty and your movements desperate, his lips rough against yours, his teeth biting your bottom lip and his hands wandering your body. "Fuck, you're so tight." He groaned against your ear. "You feel so good."

"Levi." You whimpered trying to get him closer. "I'm- I'm close." Your voice was shaking and so were your legs, his thrusts got faster and deeper which made you roll your eyes. "Ah- fuck." 

He could feel your walls clenching against his member, it was the best feeling ever. "Come for me, let me feel you." He pushed his hips one more time going even deeper than before and you let out a loud moan that Levi had to muffle as you reached your orgasm.

After a few more pushes, he came as well and slowly pulled out laying down next to you, you were both panting trying to catch your breath. You turned to look at him, his profile was absolutely beautiful and you couldn't help but admire the man that had just took your virginity. "It was amazing." You whispered then placing your head on his bare chest.

He smiled softly and kissed your forehead. "It was." He agreed, he had never felt that way with no one else but you. It had always been about you since the very first day.

You were both silent, immersed in your own thoughts when you decided to speak up. "Am I pregnant now?" You asked scared, all you had learned is that when a man comes inside the woman, then she can get pregnant.

Levi chuckled at how innocent you sounded, even if you were moaning his name and begging him just a few moments earlier. "You're not, I used a condom." He said and you nodded unsure not knowing what that was, but you could find that out in the morning. "Now sleep, tomorrow will be a though day." He surrounded your bare body with his arms and closed his eyes.

You did the same, you felt you heart beating happily in your chest, being the happiest you had ever felt.


	2. Night Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, this chapter contains smut (oral both f and m receiving), mentions of death and a lot of angst, like too much.   
> It’s also 10k (don’t ask, I don’t know how I did write such thing) so I’m sorry if it’s kinda boring at some point.
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it! If you could leave some feedback too it would make my day :)

# Chapter 2

## Night Changes

* * *

"There they are!" Isabel pointed behind her and all of you turned to see the Survey Corps following you with their ODM gear, your friend smiled. "Does this mean-?"

"Yes." Levi clenched his jaw ready to put on a show. "You know what to do." That morning he had talked about what to do in case the job was on, the others nodded and quickly separated in different ways.

You kept moving with Levi just as planned, your head turned to see two blonde men following you. "Are you sure?" You asked gulping, you knew you had to fake everything and in the end, you would get arrested and probably brought in the up world, but you were afraid something could go wrong anyway.

He frowned sensing your nervousness. "Yes. Let's see it the Survey Corps are so amazing as they say." If it were for him, he would've kept you close to him, but since the plan was to transpire as the bad guys of the situation, you had to look dangerous and he knew you could handle yourself since they weren't going to kill any of you. "I'll go down, you go up." He ordered and you nodded.

With a quick movement, you got on top of a building and he passed through it entering from a window. You noticed one of the men following Levi as the other kept coming for you, it was scary, you were used to the military police going after you and it was always fun since they sucked at using the ODM gear while you very good at it. 

Years of training and practicing made it very easy for you to move as you kept swinging from side to side trying to avoid the man that had pulled out his blades, you eyed him curiously seeing how close he was getting. You smiled amused and quickly changed your aim swinging in the opposite direction, as you passed on top of him, you made eye contact with the man and you could see the irritation in his eyes. 

You landed on the ground and started to run quickly, you had find your friends and see how they were handling the situation. They had to arrest you, but you had to put a little of resistance in order to look believable. 

"Stop right there." The tall man landed right in front of you, he was taller than you had expected, his blades looked sharp as he was holding them out trying to intimidate you. "If you collaborate, I won't hurt you." He said taking off his hoodie.

You couldn't use the ODM gear again, you didn't even know if you still had enough gas, besides you had to find Levi as soon as possible to make sure everything was working out just fine. So you did the best thing you could, you ran towards him and then slid under his opened legs, he didn't expect such move but you were fast enough to take his blades from his hands.

Mike clenched his jaw, he didn't even feel your touch, but he didn't hesitate to come at you. Your legs were moving as fast as they could, you had thrown away the blades not even knowing how to use them in the first place. 

You stopped when you reached a corner, there you saw Levi using his knife to stop the blades of one of the soldiers, behind him Farlan and Isabel had been captured. Before you could process the scene, the man you were running from grabbed your wrists and blocked you. "Ugh, get off of me!" You yelled trying to break free.

Levi's eyes moved on you, seeing you trapped in the hands of that soldier and he finally let go of his knife. That was enough of a show, he didn't want his friends to get hurt for nothing. "Good choice." Erwin, the man that had been fighting against him, praised as he asked his teammates to bring the other next to him.

They handcuffed all of you and made you kneel on the ground. It was sickening the way they were treating you, but you were all used to it by then. 

Erwin examined the ODM gears that had been stolen years earlier and sighed. "Now, where did you get these and who taught you how to use them?" He looked at Farlan, then at Isabel, his blue eyes then moved on you but ignored your figure as they stopped on Levi. "You must be their leader, answer." 

You clenched your hands in two fists not liking the way that man was speaking to your friend, but Levi didn't say anything and kept staring down not wanting to say anything. Mike grabbed his hair from behind and pushed his head down into a puddle of wet dirt. "Levi-" you snapped trying to break free only to be stopped by the soldiers.

Farlan snorted. "No one taught us! We had to learn by ourselves!" He yelled not wanting Levi to get hurt in any way.

Erwin frowned both surprised and concerned. "Self taught, huh?" He sighed placing down the object, he then kneeled down in front of the black haired man that was shaking with anger against the dirt. "I want to offer you something. I'll make sure that you will be forgiven all of your crimes and in exchange you will join the Survey Corps, a talent and strength like yours could be perfect for us."

Mike let go of Levi's head as he got up, the boy spit out the dirt he had had in his mouth because of his head being pinned down and looked at the commander with hostility. "And if I say no?" He asked bitterly.

Erwin shrugged. "Then you'll be held as criminals and be sent to jail and I don't think you want that for you or your friends seeing how many crimes you've committed." He smirked getting up.

There was a pause of silence, you could only look at Levi feeling bad for what they had just done to him. "Fine." He answered at the end. "We'll join the Survey Corps."

**

Everything went as planned. 

You had packed your few things and got transferred in the up world to join the scout regiment. 

The first time you and Isabel saw the sun it was as if you had just saw a god, you both fell on your knees crying and hugging each other out of happiness. You could still remember the soldier's surprised, yet annoyed, expressions as they looked at you two. "What is wrong with those girl?" One of them asked.

Levi was quick to glare at him to shut him up, Farlan just smiled apologetically. "We've never seen the sun, the girls are just happy to be out." He explained calmly.

"It's so warm." You had muttered trying to wipe away your tears. "It's lighter than I had imagined, it's just perfect." You kept crying and Isabel nodded in agreement.

"C'mon now." Levi grabbed the two of you from your arms and helped you to get up. "Let's go, you can cry later, idiots." He scolded you under the shocked eyes of the rest of the people. You and Isabel had nodded and kept silently crying every time you saw something new... like trees, birds, even the grass was news, everything seemed more beautiful up there.

You were lead to the training headquarters, it was just like a big castle full of rooms and soldiers, apparently all the new recruits were trained together there before going on missions. Your smile slowly faded as you saw the girls that were part of the scouts, they were all taller, more tanned and definitely more beautiful than you, they looked so... healthy and strong while you were so skinny and small that you could break easily with just a push. 

Isabel pulled you closer to her as you were walking through the training field. "This is embarrassing." She mumbled and you nodded not able to speak properly, your nerves were way too fucked up to be able to contain your stuttering. "Do you think we'll fit in?" 

"Of course!" Farlan tried to cheer you up, he could sense your awkwardness but couldn't understand why. At his eyes, you and Isabel were the strongest girls out there, you had survived through months of hunger, other periods of time where going out was embarrassing and uncomfortable because of the lack of good clothes or the need for more money. "I'm sure you'll more asses than anyone else in here."

You blushed. "F-F-Farlan!" You exclaimed not wanting the others to hear him, Levi just rolled his eyes scanning the place and trying to study the place.

After showing you around, the scouts walked you to your room that you had to share with Isabel, there were a few complaints because you wanted to be in a room with the boys, but the rules were strict about that. "This doesn't look so bad." Your friend commented laying down on her bed. "It was cleaner in our house to be honest, I wish Levi-bro could clean this room as well." She sighed.

You smiled awkwardly. "He's probably cleaning his room right now." You giggled and sat next to Isabel. "Can I ask you something?" You asked shyly, the team leaders had to come get you in a few minutes since they had left you time to unpack your stuff, even if you had just a few things. 

"Sure." 

"What's a condom?" You asked and she widened her eyes, she even coughed a few times feeling her own spit going through her throat. "Isabel are you ok?!" You tried to help her patting her back.

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Why- why are you asking that?" You shrugged biting your lip and she sighed. "Well, I don't know much about it, but some girls at the brothel explained to me that they don't get pregnant because they use condoms which are these things that they put on the male's... you know, penis, so their come doesn't get into the girl." She passed her hand through her hair feeling embarrassed, it was always strange to talk to you about such things but you were the only one she could open up to. "Why such question?"

Your cheeks heated up and gulped, the memories of a few nights ago tormenting you. "Ok, but don't tell anyone!" You grabbed her arm and shook it, she nodded curiously. "Levi and I-"

"Don't finish that sentence!" Isabel sat up with widened eyes, the shock visible in her eyes. "How?! What?! Explain!" She started to shake your shoulders vigorously and you chuckled amused. "So what are you guys now?"

"I don't know." You answered softly and Isabelle stopped. "It happened so fast, we were talking about what would happen if we moved here, in the up world, and then he said he would marry me once we would start a new life. Then we had sex." You explained, your hands trembling as you looked at the ceiling. "I really don't know what happened."

Isabel hugged you. "It's painfully obvious! You two are in love!"

"Stop!" You shushed her. "We haven't talked about it, so I don't know what he feels, can you please keep it a secret until I'll be able to talk to him about it?" You begged her and she nodded understanding, but even she knew about your feeling for each other, she had observed you and was happy for the two of you.

Before she could reply, the door opened and a tall girl with brown hair and a friendly smile stepped in. "Hello! I'm Hanji Zoe, Team Leader and the responsible of your training, are you ready to join us?" She asked placing her hands on her waist. You both nodded and got up ready to follow her, you had put on the scouts uniform and the surveys jacket. "So, Y/n and Isabel, right?"

"Yes." Your friend nodded. "For how long have you been here? Do you fight a lot? I love your glasses!" Isabel kept asking questions and you smiled amused, even if you wanted to talk as well, you were afraid. 

The fear of stuttering or showing them how people from the underground were poor and illiterates. Hanji started to chitchat with your friend but noticed your silence, once you joined the others, you approached Levi and stood next to him. "Cadets!" Keith called as he stepped close to your friends. "These are the new recruits that will be joining our regiment, introduce yourselves."

Isabel smiled proudly. "Hi! My name is Isabel!" She exclaimed waving at all the soldiers that were looking at you and whispering between them.

Levi rolled his eyes, arms crossed over his chest as he glared in front of him. "Name's Levi." He simply said getting the attention of everyone because of his impoliteness.

You gulped, feeling shy and embarrassed in front of all that people. "I-I-I'm Y-Y/n." You looked down at your feet feeling ashamed, usually it wasn't that difficult to control your stuttering and talk like a normal person, but at that moment it felt harder than the usual.

"Hi everyone, my name is Farlan and I'm happy to join the Survey Corps." The boy next to you said with his fist on how heart.

After a few murmurings, Keith explained you that you had to train with the Team Leaders until you were ready to join the rest of the cadets during their expeditions. 

He then proceeded to talk about the Titans and why it was important for us to learn how to kill them as soon as possible. You had been horrified by his words, not knowing that out there it was much more dangerous than in the underworld. But it was too late to say no and go back, you had been forced into it. 

After that, they gave you and hour and half to eat and get prepared for your very first training. The four of you agreed and were dismissed, but the thought of that embarrassing moment you just had made you feel sick to your stomach.

"Y/n." Levi called your name before you could step into the canteen with the others. "Come with me." He grabbed your hand and started to walk towards his room, you followed silently not knowing why he wanted to talk to you alone.

"Did I do something?" You blinked confused once he closed the door and locked it, you gulped nervously as he approached you and stopped a few inches from you. "L-Levi?" 

He grabbed your chin and raised your head so you could meet his eyes. "You need to stop that." He simply said, a little harshly, and you frowned. 

"The stuttering? I'm sorry, I'm trying my best to-"

"No." He tightened his grip on your chin, his grey eyes piercing yours with irritation. "Stop lowering your head every time you feel ashamed, it shows weakness and you don't need to show that." He scolded you and you pouted a little. "Don't look at me like that, what's wrong? Why do you keep your head down like that?" 

Your lips were shaking, growing up in the environment such as the underworld had taught you that complains were stupid, you had learned how to take it all in and never talk to anyone if it wasn't indispensable. "We're from down there." You mumbled softly, your hand gripping at his wrist. "Look at the other girls, they're so... good looking and well educated while I'm... I'm so small and inferior compared to them." You explained rolling your eyes. "Haven't you seen how they giggled and whispered when I spoke up?"

He kept glaring at you not surprised by your words since he had already figured out what had troubled you. "Do I look like a give a fuck?" He hissed and you widened your eyes at his bitter words. "Seriously Y/n, you know you could kill all those idiots without even trying and yet here you are crying about it." He snorted. "Tch, that's pathetic."

He was right, you were more dangerous than all those people, yet you couldn't help but feel wrong. "Whatever, is this all you wanted to talk about?" You snapped breaking free from his grip, his eyes darkened at such action.

"What do you mean?"

Your jaw clenched. "Since we left the underground you barely even looked at me." You said both sad and angry. "I need to know, do you regret what we did?"

As soon as those words left your mouth, he pinned you against the wall, his hands both at each side of your head and his nose touching yours. "That's what you're worried about." He muttered unimpressed. "Do I need to remind you that you're mine?" 

"How can I be yours if you can't even talk to me in public." 

Levi's lips curved into a small smirk, one of his hands moved and went to caress your exposed neck, making your shiver under his touch. "Think about it, we're here to steal that shitty paper and kill that man, if they'll ever doubt us, I want to be sure that you won't be touched." Then his hand gripped around your neck. "But if that's what's bothering you, then I should do something about it." He pressed his lips against yours.

You sighed satisfied and deepened the kiss feeling the urge to have him closer, you had missed his touch more than you expected. His tongue made its way to your mouth and you moaned a little wanting way more than just that. Your hand moved on his shoulders and slowly trailed down to his chest and then stopped on his hips not knowing if you could just touch him there or not. 

Guessing your goal, he pressed his whole body against your making you feel just how hard he already was. "God this uniform makes you look so hot." You had never worn a piece of clothing that could fit you that well, showing off all your curves and your thin figure. 

You clenched your tights together trying to get some kind of relief, Levi pushed his hips against yours rubbing his tight pants against yours, you whined at the contact needing more and more. "Can we- can we-" You whispered in trance. 

"I can't fuck you right now, I don't have any condoms." He groaned disappointed. "Doesn't mean I can't taste you." He smirked slightly getting down.

"What do you mean?" You asked confused as he started to unzip your pants and lower them. He spread your legs and placed himself right in front of your covered pussy. 

"Stay still." He ordered as he moved your panties so that he could see your already wet center. "Good girl." He held on your waist with his hands as he started to lick your genital. 

You trembled at the sensation of his tongue against your pulsing part, he looked up at you, his eyes piercing at yours as he kept working with his mouth on you. "Oh god." You bit your lip as he deepened his movements. "It feels so good." You muttered. 

He snorted against you feeling only more motivated to go on and eating you out, suddenly you felt his teeth biting your clit and making you gasp both in surprise and pleasure, he slid one finger in you and started to pump through your wetness. He pulled away as soon as he heard you moan. "You need to be quiet, we don't want the others to know." He snapped and you nodded.

Once he got back to licking and sucking your pussy, you had to cover your mouth with your hand to cover the sounds that threatened to leave your lips. Levi wanted to hear you more than anything, but it wasn't the right time nor place. Your walls clenched against his fingers and he knew that you were going to come any second, so he sped up his rhythm.

You saw the stars as you reached your climax, your whole body tensing for a brief moment before relaxing and leaning against the wall breathless. "Wow." You sighed, Levi got up and licked his lips smirking at your exhausted expression. "I-Is it good?" You asked curiously.

He raised an eyebrow. "The best I would say." He answered kissing you and letting you taste you own sweetness. "So?"

You frowned a little and he chuckled amused, he stepped aside ready to get out, but you quickly grabbed his wrist stopping him. "Wait!" He turned and looked at you. "I know it's not the right moment... but what are we?" You were afraid of that question, hoping he wouldn't break your heart.

He sighed, he knew that your innocent mind would eventually think about that, also seeing how insecure you got because of all the other girls made him realize how he couldn't lose you. "I told you I would marry you, didn't I?" You nodded with a serious stare. "And I will once we'll be out of here, until then... you're mine." He hugged you out of your surprise.

"Levi." You whispered hugging him back. "I'll wait, I know this job is more important. I was just confused of what that meant for our relationship."

"You'll have your wedding and we'll be happy together, I promise. But right now this must be a secret, I don't want people here to know." You nodded feeling his heart beating fast in his chest.

**

You watched as Isabel kept riding the horse they had given her as if she had been training her whole life, you weren't surprised though, she was very good with animals. Farlan was with another team leader trying the ODM gear while you were waiting for Levi to start his training.

"All you have to do is find the Titan and kill them." His instructor explained and you bit your lip worried.

Levi frowned. "To kill them I have to cut their neck, right?" He asked and they nodded. "Fine." He grabbed his blades and started to walk towards the small woods.

"That's not how you hold them!" His team leader called, he seemed very pissed at the young boy and you couldn't understand why. 

Levi scoffed. "If I have to kill a Titan, I'll do it my way." He answered and swung away leaving his superiors speechless.

"That bastard-"

"Hey!" You snapped at him, your hand clenching into two fists. "He's not a bastard, he's stronger than anyone here." You defended him, you knew you didn't have to let the others think that you two were close, but you weren't going to let anyone insult him.

The woman giggled excitedly. "This is so interesting! He hasn't got any training, yet he's doing whatever he wants." She sighed and looked over at you, your worried look could be spotted from miles away. "Y/n." Hanji called you and you turned to face her. "You still need to put on your ODM gear, c'mon, I'll help you." She patted your shoulder and you followed her towards the headquarters. 

"Thank you." You said emotionless, it was better not to get too close to those people since you had to betray them sooner or later.

The team leader nodded as you reached the armoury and she handed you a new ODM gear that was in better conditions than your old one. "So... you seem pretty close to your friends there." It's not that she didn't trust you, but she was a very curious woman and you were quite the mystery to her. When you shrugged, she smiled amused. "But I think you're closer to that cadet, Levi."

Your breath stopped for a few seconds in your chest, was it so easy to read you and see through your emotions? That thought of it bothered you more than you would've expected, you had to take example from your lover and shut all your emotions in you. "We lived together, that's all." You said coldly.

Mike, who had been waiting for you and Hanji, raised his eyebrows at your sentence. "I thought you were a couple." He said sincerely, it was probably the fact that he had seen the pain on your face when they captured Levi, the way you moved trying to break free to help him, or the way that man had protectively shielded you from them all the way from the underground to the headquarters. 

"Well, we're not." You forced a small smile. "Aren't relationships forbidden in the Survey Corps?" You asked then curiously.

"There is no rule against it." Hanji shrugged. "That's a personal choice, as long as you help humanity no one really cares." She explained folding her arms on her chest. "You looked cute together, that's why I asked, but enough with this. Do you know how to use the ODM gear?" 

Mike scoffed. "She can, I can assure you, this little girl was capable of outsmarting me when I was about to arrest her." He told Hanji remembering the way you swung from building to building, how fast and agile you were. "What was the thing you did back then? You took my blades and I didn't even feel it." 

You smirked a little and scratched the back of your neck. "Oh that, I grew up stealing, I know my tricks... look." You stepped towards him and he frowned. "I just need to get close to you." You said and then walked past him, Mike turned to look at you not understanding what you were doing since you didn't even touch him. "And I can easily get what I want without you feeling a single thing." You showed him a small knife he used to hide in his belt.

"What." He checked his belt and found it empty, he then reached and grabbed the thing from your small hands. "That's impressive and scary at the same time." He muttered putting it back in its place. "But I don't know if you'll be able to fight Titans with you small physique, you should concentrate on being able to run away and stay alive." 

You scoffed. "That's no sense, if there's someone who can easily move around Titans, that's me." You bragged and Hanji nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, let's see what you can do and discuss it later." The woman placed her arm on your shoulders and pulled you with her towards the entrance of the woods. "Don't mind me, but I think Mike kinda likes you." She giggled and you frowned looking at her confused. "So if you're not with that cadet, I think you should definitely think about him." She suggested with a big smile.

You snorted at the idea, not really interested in anyone beside Levi and your friends. "I'll think about it." You muttered and stopped when you saw Levi walking up to you from the woods, you tilted your head towards him silently asking him how his practice went, he just shook his head not even looking at you before walking past you. 

Hanji hummed and looked at him. "Maybe I misjudged him... oh well, time to go."

**

Days passed by but none of you seemed to be able to get what you needed. It was supposed to be easy: get the letter and kill Erwin Smith. Out of your disappointment, his office was clear and that sheet of paper was nowhere to be found. 

"Dammit." Farlan kicked a barrel that was kept in the armoury with everything else. "This was supposed to be a quick thing." 

You and Isabel sighed, you were sitting down on the ground and she had leaned her head on your shoulder, you were both tired from all the training you had been doing. "It's normal that it isn't in his office, if it's that important, he probably hid it very well." You explained yawning a little.

"Then where could it be, smart ass?" Farlan snapped, he was clearly pissed but not at you directly, he was just weary and confused.

Levi decided to step in to prevent a fight between the two of you. "Oi, if you don't shut it I'll kick both of you." He warned and you nodded biting your tongue before you could snap back at your friend. "It's obvious that he keeps it with him to be sure that no one else can steal it. And tomorrow we have on that stupid expedition." He snorted with a big frown on his face.

You blinked confused and Isabel did the same. "Then why don't we take it tomorrow? I bet that Y/n can easily steal it if she can get enough close to the man." She smiled as if she had just given the solution to the problem, which was probably true, but somehow the two boys highly disagreed. 

Farlan wasn't really found of the idea of having either of the girls do that, he wanted to protect them and not throw them out like that, if anything he wanted to be the one doing so or Levi, just not them. "I don't know about that... I don't think you should go on that expedition." The black haired man said and all of you turned to look at him confused. "I'll go and I'll take the letter and then I'll bring it back."

"Wait." Farlan replied. "Why do you want to go alone? You don't believe in us?"

"It's not that. But if those... Titans are as dangerous as they say, then it's for the best if you don't risk your lives like that. Just find a good excuse to stay back and wait for me." He explained, but you were against this stupid idea of his.

"No way!" Isabel exclaimed getting up. "Levi-bro! You can't just go there on your own, if we're all together then there's a much higher possibility to succeed." She pouted and looked at you. "We're not weak and we care about you as well, just let us help."

You sighed and got up as well, you could see why Levi was acting that way, you would've done the same to be honest, but Isabelle had a point. "She's right, if you're alone you won't stand a chance, no matter how strong you are, you need us and we need you." You stepped closer to him. "Don't do this."

Levi clenched his jaw looking at you, he felt as if none of you could understand what he was feeling that moment, but somehow he felt glad that you wanted to go with him and stay by his side even in this difficult situation. "I don't know."

"Just have faith in us." Farlan snorted. "It's not that difficult, we've had each other's backs for years." 

As your friend started to move towards the door, you whispered to Isabel ear. "I'll talk to him, we'll catch up with you guys later." She nodded with a small smile and got out of the room leaving you alone with Levi, who was staring at the floor lost in his thoughts. "You can rely on us, Levi, you know that right?" You asked stepping closer to him.

His grey eyes met yours and you could see just how worried they were even if he was trying to hide it with his usual bored expression. "I can't protect all of you if we get divided." He sat down on the ground and you sighed. "I can't just lead you to death, that would be crazy."

You sat beside him and looked up at the ceiling. "That's not new to us, whenever we had to steal and runaway, the military police was always after us and we knew that if we got caught we could've been killed. What's different?" You question, you could recall just how good those times were, it was always fun to see how you could get away with everything and laugh at dangerous situations like those. "And we've been trained for those Titans, so there's nothing to worry about."

Levi turned to glare at you, but his cold stare quickly turned into a soft one when he noticed the way you were smiling at him. "I agreed to steal and kill to have that citizenship, not to get killed while trying to get it." He snorted and rested his head against your shoulder, your heart skipped a bit to that sudden contact but you happily allowed him to stay right there. You raised your hand and started to pass it through his black hair trying to comfort him somehow. "Why can't you just let me do this alone?"

"Because we love you... I love you." You muttered closing your eyes. "Trust us, it'll be fine as long as we'll be together." 

He nodded and kissed your shoulder. "Fine, but I want you to stay by my side all the time, if anything happens I want to be able to protect you at all costs." He explained wrapping his arms around your small body and pulling you closer to him in a desperate hug. "And don't you dare doing some reckless shit."

"I promise." You smiled against his chest, you felt so calm and protected already, but you wanted him to feel the same. "Once we'll be done with this task we'll be able to enjoy our time together."

"Right." He sighed, he had to remind himself that sometimes, it wasn't that he didn't trust his friends, but he got a bad feeling about the whole situation and losing wasn't an option there. "Thank you." He whispered against your shoulder.

"For what? You're the one looking out for us most of the time." You smiled and kept caressing him. "If it weren't for you, I would be dead by now." You said suddenly and his head snapped towards you to look at your eyes. "Probably from hunger or the cold, either way I wouldn't be here, you gave me hope, Levi, till this day you still do. For once, I want to be the one giving you hope." You cupped his cheeks with your shaky hands and placed a long kiss on his lips.

It was probably the first time you took the initiative, and it felt good. You wanted to show him that you could take care of him, he didn't have to do everything alone and would always be by his side. 

The kiss you were sharing became more passionate by the second, it got sloppy and rougher as he took the lead sucking aggressively against your lips, you sat up on his lap as he surrounded your waist with his strong arms.

It went like that for a few minutes, just the two of you melting against each other, the only thing on your mind was to show him just how much you loved him. "Levi-" you pulled away from him and rested your forehead against his one. "Can I make you feel good?" You muttered shyly.

His eyes sparkled for a moment, those words only exciting him more than he already was. The idea of you wanting to pleasure him was even better than the pleasure itself, he nodded slowly and you gulped placing your hands on his belt to undo it. 

This was new to you, you had just a faint idea of what you were supposed to do, but you trusted your instinct to help you. Once you had lowered his pants you looked at his tight boxers that were covering his already hard member, the view brought back memories from the past weeks and your cheeks heated up recalling the way you had had sex. "You look nervous." He commented.

You frowned. "I'm not." Yes you were, it wasn't something you were used to do. You moved your hand and rubbed it against the soft material of his boxers, a small groan left Levi's lips once you pumped him a few times. 

You looked at him curiously, his eyes were still on your face and his chest was moving quickly, it felt good to know you had that kind of effect on him, but you hadn't even started yet. With a quick movement you lowered the boxers freeing his erection, your eyes widened at the sight since you didn't remember it to be that big, it was hard and you could see a few drops of precum on his tip. 

Levi softly grabbed your hand and placed it around his dick, he then showed you just how he liked you to touch him. You started to pump his length on your own and he leaned against the wall releasing a low moan of pleasure. It made you feel confident, you liked to see how you were able to make him feel good.

That made you increase your speed, but your eyes never left Levi's face, the way his mouth was semi open, his eyes half closed and his hair brushing against his sweaty forehead. Looking down, you started to doubt your next move, it wasn't that you didn't want to take him in your mouth, to be honest the idea kinda aroused you, but your insecurities were having the best on you. 

You wanted to pleasure him more and more, but you feared to ruin everything. What if it didn't fit in your mouth? What if you hurt him in any way? What if you weren't good enough? Those questions kept popping in your mind as you lowered your head until your lips were just a few inches from his tip. 

Levi didn't say anything, he didn't want to pressure you nor scare you, it was your decision to make and he would've approved either way. He was pleasantly surprised when he felt your lips kissing his dick while you kept moving your hand around him, it made him feel weak and vulnerable, but he didn't mind it since it was you. 

You opened your mouth and slowly welcomed his member inside of it, your head going down until you felt like you couldn't take it anymore. Levi moaned as he felt your tongue brushing against him. "Good girl." He whimpered placing his hand on your head and gripping at your hair. "Now suck it."

You didn't have to hear it twice, you started to suck on it, moving your head up and down at a slow pace, but it was enough to get the black haired man to moan. His hips moved towards you and you felt the tip of his dick going deeper in your throat chocking you. 

The noise you made kept rousing Levi even more, he waited to make sure that you felt comfortable and, by the look you sent him while moving up and down, you were, so he tightened his grip on your hair and pushed you deeper down so that his cock was fully in your mouth. "God, feels so good." He groaned while face fucking you.

You were happy to hear his praises, it didn't matter if you felt like you were going to throw up any minute, if he was feeling good then you would've kept going. To be honest, it made you feel horny as well, but you put aside your need and focused on your lover.

"Just like that, take it all." He whimpered pressing you down again, the view was probably the most erotic thing he had ever seen and he could already feel himself getting closer to his climax. You pulled away from it for a brief second to take a deep breath and replaced your hand around him, pumping more and more, your eyes met his and you got lost in his grey dilated pupils full of lust and adoration for you. "Y/n, I'm close." He warned you as you started to brush your tongue against his length.

Those words made you feel butterflies in your belly, you were almost done and you were proud of what you were doing for him. You smiled and took him again in your mouth trying to go as deep as you could, his moans only inciting you to suck harder.

After a few seconds he came without warning in your throat, you widened your eyes in surprise but swallowed his cum without him telling you to. Once you pulled away and sat up to watch Levi's small smile, you felt relieved that he enjoyed your very first blowjob. 

"You did so good, you were perfect." He composed himself and got dressed up, he then pulled you towards him and kissed you lovingly on your lips, he could taste himself but he didn't care about that since he was too deep into praising you for how good you made him feel. "I love you, Y/n." He then said.

Your heart skipped a bit, he had never said that out loud and it took you by surprise. "I love you too." You muttered and hugged him placing your head against his chest. He felt... happy, his chest didn't feel heavy anymore, the only thing he could think of was you and only you.

His Y/n, he wouldn't have let you go that easily, that's why he needed to complete that stupid job and then start a new life with you. But first things first, he had to focus on his task.

He brushed your hair using his fingers and sighed deeply. "Shall we join the others? They're probably worried." He slowly got up and you followed him, his hand grabbed yours and led you towards the roof with him. "Oi." He called once he saw Farlan and Isabel sitting on the edge of it. 

"Look who's back." Farlan greeted him with a gentle smile as you both sat between them. "Still convinced that you have to do everything alone?"

Levi looked at you with the corner of his eyes and you offered your best smile, he didn't want to argue anymore and knowing that his friends cared about him that much made him feel better. "You can come too." He said and Isabel's eyes widened with happiness. "We started this together, might as well end it the same way." 

"Well said, Levi-bro!" The red haired girl exclaimed. "We can do it together, as a family." Farlan nodded looking up at the dark sky, it was the perfect view for someone who had never seen the stars before. "I'm glad I met you." Isabel said suddenly getting everyone's attention. "You are the only family I've ever had, two brothers and my only sister." She hugged you.

You hugged her back feeling the need to let her know how much you cared about her as well. "You're the best sister I could ask for, Isabel." You whispered, your heart melted at how sweet she was, your only female friend and confidant, if anything was to happen to her you didn't know what you were going to do. Right that moment you understood what Levi felt when he told you to stay behind.

You wanted to protect them all as well, but dividing wasn't an option.

"I'm sorry." Farlan sighed looking at Levi. "I don't want to argue, I'm happy that we're all here." He offered his hand and his friend shook it with a small smile. "What's with this over sentimentalism, we never talked like this."

"Sometimes it's good to tell people the way you feel towards them." You shrugged and Isabelle giggled in agreement, you rested your head against her shoulder and stared at the view that was the wall not too far away from there and the dark nature all around you. 

Levi folded his arms on his chest and decided open up to his friends, that night felt just right to do so and he me ever really talked about his feelings anyway. "Once we'll have those citizenships, I will marry Y/n." He said and everyone turned to look at him in disbelief. "And I'd like you to stay with us."

"Levi-bro and Y/n-sis! Ah! This is the best news ever!" She exclaimed shaking your shoulders, your cheeks were flaming with embarrassment and surprise.

"Just friends... huh?" Farlan grinned and you rolled your eyes at him, he shrugged and nodded. "I'm happy for you."

"Me too! I want to be the bridesmaid!" 

You giggled. "Oh well, let's start with leaving this place."

**

You had never been outside the underground, let aside being outside the Walls. Your face was hit by the cold wind as you rode your horse next to Isabel, her eyes were sparkling with happiness and you couldn't help it but to look around fascinated, the nature and the landscape were just beautiful. 

But no matter how free you could feel, the air was tensed and your senses were alert trying to keep an eye on everything that was around you, surprise was a bitch and you wanted to have everything under control. Next to you there was Flagon's team, he was the team leader that had been assigned to you that day since Hanji's team was already full, better that way, at least you could make sure that your friends were safe.

"A Titan!" A soldier yelled pointing a few miles away from your group.

"So those are titans." Farlan commented and your body froze. They were... horrible, probably the most horrendous thing you had ever seen, not only they were scary but also tall and dangerous. "C'mon." You followed him as Isabel kept riding next to you.

Levi took a look at it and almost felt sick at the idea of one of those things hurting any of you, so he fastened his pace and went towards it, he knew he was much stronger than anybody else there and he had made it his priority to eliminate every single titan that could cause a danger to him and his friends. "If he can take down that one, we can eliminate those!" Isabel pointed to two titans there were behind you.

You smiled. "The first to kill the titans gets to eat the other's meat!" You exclaimed changing direction and aiming towards the two monsters.

"Wait up!" Farlan followed your moves so the three of you were all together. "C'mon, let's show Levi that he isn't the only one who can do it!" You used your ODM gear and moved around the titan's big bodies, they were fast and kinda difficult to reach, but once you were at the neck's level, you were able to cut right on their weak spot killing it.

Once you looked around, you noticed that Farlan and Isabel had done the same with the other one. Once you got back on your horse, you noticed Levi coming towards you. "Oi, are you stupid?" He exclaimed clearly irritated.

"We took them down, see? You can trust us." You said with a wide smile and he frowned not convinced at all.

"Yeah, Levi-bro, we don't need you looking after us." Isabel stuck her tongue out and he rolled his eyes, you chuckled amused, but you could see a small smile ghosting over Levi's lips indicating that he was proud of what you had just done.

"Fine, but don't get too far from me." He said coldly and you all nodded rejoining the rest of the group.

So that was the big danger outside the walls, you would've never guessed if you hadn't seen it in person. So life wasn't that great in the up world, maybe inside the walls and far away from Wall Maria, you didn't choose to fight to help whatever plan the Survey Corps were following, but you felt kind of glad that you could help even in the slightest. But again, your dream was to have a beautiful life with your friends.

It was like you had two different idea going against each other.

As time passed by, you started to realise that proceeding with their mission wasn't helping your task at all and, before you knew it, it started to rain. "Great, just what I needed." You snorted putting on you hoodie.

"Maybe it's for the best, the rain makes it difficult to see, this is our chance, if Y/n can get close enough to Erwin she could easily get the letter." Farlan explained and Isabel nodded in agreement. You had to admit that the plan was just perfect, you knew how to steal without having the other person feeling a thing and the rain could only help.

"I don't see Erwin's team though." You looked around but it was difficult to see even a few inches from your nose. 

"You're not going alone, I'll come with you." Levi replied riding next to you. "His group is just a few metres before our group, if we move fast enough we'll be able to join them." He then explained and looked at the others two. "Will you be fine by yourselves?"

"Don't worry!" Isabel pouted. "We're not kids anymore, we're soldiers as well." She muttered slightly annoyed.

"We'll manage, it won't take too long anyway." Farlan shrugged and you nodded. "Be careful, once you're done come back to us and we'll find a way to go back."

"Alright." You shot a look to Levi who sighed, something wasn't right but he couldn't understand what, it was the same feeling he had had the night before. "Let's go." You both increased your horses' speed.

"Good luck Levi-bro and Y/n-sis!" Isabelle yelled from behind you as you rode towards your target.

"The rain is too intense, if a titan was to appear-" you started trying to remain at Levi's side, both your horses moving quickly against the drops of water.

"Don't even say it, we just need to get close to that man, and then we go home." 

But where was home exactly? That was a question you couldn't find the answer to, a few months ago you would've said the underworld, that small apartment that protected you from the freezing cold and saw you growing up, but at the moment you were clueless. Home was probably where your family was, it didn't matter where, you were just glad that you and your loved ones were able to live under the sun and breathing clear air.

Yes, that was what you needed, so once you got the letter and killed the blonde soldier, you would've been able to enjoy your life.

"Shit." Levi mumbled and stopped his horse, you followed his movements and looked around, you had been riding for what felt hours under that cold rain, yet it seemed like you got lost. "What happened here?" The black haired man asked and only then you noticed some corps on the ground.

Taking a better look, you were finally able to see most of your team members laying on the ground... dead. "Oh god." You widened your eyes feeling sick to the stomach after seeing that scene. "Look, a titan." You pointed at the ground where there were some footprints.

"He's going back." Levi commented studying the footsteps. "How did we miss it?" He asked confused.

"Levi..." you were trembling, but not because the cold, but because of the situation you were suddenly in. "He's moving towards Isabel and Farlan." Your voice was raspy, your heart beating fast in your chest. 

"Fuck." Levi got back on his horse and started to ride furiously following the footprints, you followed him behind, you spent the whole time praying and hoping that they had missed the titan just like the two of you had done. The wind kept blowing in your way making it even more difficult to see with the water and the leaves that were hitting your face, looking down you could definitely spot some human parts but you didn't to think about that. Suddenly, Levi's horse stepped on a body and it tripped making him fall down from his saddle.

"Levi!" You quickly got down from your horse and kneeled down next to him. "Are you ok? Did you get hurt somewhere?" You asked grabbing his arm, his face was frowned in pain but after a few seconds his expression totally changed, his eyes widened and his breath became shaky. "What-" you started moving your graze from his face to the scene before him. Just a few inches from you lied a head, not any head, it was Isabel's, her dark eye wide open and he whole face covered in blood, your heart stopped and it felt as if you biggest fear had just become true. "Isabel!" You screamed on top of your lungs moving away from Levi and approaching what was left of her.

Silence surrounded you and the rain stopped, as if it had heard your pain. You kept staring at your best friend's head, you didn't want to believe it. No, it wasn't true, it couldn't be. You could still hear her tender and joyful voiced calling your name, telling you just how she cared about you. " _You're my only sister, Y/n-sis_." It felt like hell, you couldn't even imagine what Levi was feeling, you couldn't find the strength to face him.

A sudden noise, like a big snarl, made you both turn to see a huge, dark figure not too far from you, it was walking four-legged and from his mouth hung another body, before you could take a better look to try and identify the person, the monster turned to look at you with its piercing red eyes and then spat down the body.

You clenched your jaw trying to stop yourself from moving towards Farlan's dead body that was now just half of it, how could that happen? You thought it would be fine as long as they were together, but that? You would never see Farlan's reassuring smile nor hear his sweet words that helped you every time you felt overwhelmed. He had been a brother to you for so long, seeing you growing up and always trying to cheer you up, you just couldn't accept that end for neither of them.

They were your family and your home, right? They had to be alive and stay with you, that was your biggest desire, that was what kept you going on no matter how hungry, cold and sick you felt in the underground. As hot tears ran down your already wet cheeks, you let out a scream of pain, it was the only thing that you could do at the moment.

Levi got up, but you didn't question him as he used his ODM gear and moved towards the titan, wanting to make him suffer just the way he was feeling at that moment. You kept sobbing, your hand clenching into fists as you punched the ground next to you sister's remaining body. "I'm sorry!" You yelled towards her. "Do you hear me? I'm _sorry_ , I couldn't protect you, nor Farlan! It was my fault." You ended in a whisper and looked up to see your lover expressing all his agony by cutting that monster in every single part of its body, you could his screams as he did so, just as painful as yours.

Once he cut out its head, he landed next to you, his sobs were only increasing your sense of guilt and desperation, you got up from the dirty ground and stood in front of him. Levi didn't say a word, he couldn't even if he wanted, he let go of his used blades and pulled you against his body, he hugged you tightly as if he was afraid that you were gone too, your shaky breaths mixing with each other as you pressed your head against his chest crying and yelling. 

His crying stopped, but his heart felt heavy, just when it looked like things were going fine... everything got destroyed. And now he only had you, and he couldn't bear to lose you as well, not like that, not until he was there to protect you. 

You remained in that position for what felt eternity, neither of you could speak up, but both refused to let go of each other, your only family. You raised your head from his chest when you heard a few horses approaching, your red puffy eyes were a clear sign of your pain but you didn't care at the moment. Erwin and his group approached you, the man got off his horse and walked towards the two of you, the rain had finally disappeared leaving a clear sky and the titan's body behind you was slowly evaporating into steam. "So you're the only two survivors." He started looking at the way you were holding each other desperately. "How pathetic." He commented with a small grin on his face.

You both turned your heads to glare at him for saying such thing after losing an entire group of soldiers, didn't he feel any kind of guilt? Levi moved from you and walked towards him with an expression of pure hate, he raised his blade even if he was too weak at that moment to hurt the blonde man in any way, in fact he just grabbed it before it could hit him with his bare hand. "I'm going..." the black haired man started with a shaky yet angry tone. “... to _kill_ you!” He yelled. Mike came towards you and placed his hand on your shoulder trying to calm you down, he could see how your chest was moving quickly and your hands were closed into two fists. “That’s why I’m here. Y/n!” 

You snapped out of your trance and ran towards them, with a quick movement you grabbed the letter from Erwin’s uniform and held it out. “I got it!” You exclaimed. 

Erwin frowned irritated but didn’t move. “Those documents revealing Lobov’s crimes are a fake.” He said and you widened your eyes, you opened it immediately and fell on your knees when you realized that they were just blank sheets of paper. “The real ones have likely reached Daria Zackley by now. Lobov is finished.” You couldn’t believe your ears, Lobov was the man that had given you the job, but now it was all gone.

Levi had a surprised, yet confused look on his face as he started at the soldier. “You knew everything right from the start.” He muttered angrily, you had never seen him show so many emotions, you wished it wouldn’t be in that situation. “You knew we were after you,” he kept going with widened eyes and shaky voice. “And yet you-“ he tried to attack Erwin again, but this time Mike intervened and blocked him.

In another situation, Levi could’ve taken down both of them, but because of his weakness and tiredness he couldn’t manage to fight against them. He fell on his knees as well, your thoughts running wild on why this was happening and what you could do to get out of it, but before you could come up with something, Erwin spoke up again. “Don’t. You’ll regret it.” He said to Levi, who was staring at his dead friends. “If you begin to regret, you’ll dull your future decisions and let the others make choices for you. All that’s left for you then is to die. Nobody can foretell the outcome. Each decision you make holds meaning only by affecting your next decision.”

_(Did I just rewrite this whole ass speech? Fuck yeah I did, it’s one of my favorites to be honest, shows how Erwin truly believes in what he’s doing, I could talk about it for hours but we must proceed with the story)_

“We’re going to continue the expeditions.” He said firmly and you raised your head to look at him in disbelief. Even after losing all those soldiers, innocent people that wanted to help humanity, he decided to move on just like that. “I expect you to come with me.” He walked towards his horse and stopped to look at you. “And you too.” He got on his horse and started to get away.

Levi got up slowly and came toward you, your hands were still shaking with anger and sadness, you destroyed the sheet of paper ripping in small pieces. “What are we going to do?” You whispered scared, Mike had left as well and you were left alone with your long life partner.

He gulped, he had an expression you couldn’t interpret, but it wasn’t exactly something you would’ve expected. “There isn’t much left to do, I’m going to follow him.” He said and you raised your eyebrows surprised. “There’s something about that man, it’s like he sees something we can’t...” 

“He didn’t even look twice at his comrades.” You muttered looking at the team leader that had died because of that Titan as well. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” Maybe you were still in time to go back and start a new life, get a nice house and a decent job.

“Yes.” Levi helped you to get up. “What about you?” He really hoped you wouldn’t leave him, he wasn’t stable yet and the only idea of losing you was driving him insane.

“I despise that man.” You muttered, you shot a look to your dead friends. You had promised to never leave each other, it was the biggest rule in your relationship and you couldn’t ignore it even if that meant going against your will. Besides, your feelings were way too confused and being alone wouldn’t help you at all. “But I’ll always be by your side, Levi, if that’s what you want then I’ll come with you.” 

He nodded silently and you both made your way to your own horse, you had to join the group and keep going on that exploration.

As you looked back, you felt your heart aching. When you had left, that morning, you couldn’t have expected to come back as a whole different person, both emotionally and physically.

**Author's Note:**

> I’d be grateful if you could leave some feedback, I love to read your opinions and it motivates me to work faster. Thank you all!


End file.
